29 Lessons From Turning 29
Reflections, Revelations, and Reasons to Keep Going
John F. Kennedy was the youngest person to run for president. When challenged about his age and experience, he saw it as an opportunity to appeal to a country eager for change, and responded with confidence, saying, “This is a young country, founded by young people and still young at heart. The world is changing, the old ways will not do.”
1 ) My pursuit is in finding ideas that matter the most and connect with them in a way that is highly actionable.
On Trust
When we trust we “make bids”. The more consistently those bids are, the more trust you’ll give. Like the chair you’re sitting on. Or the ceiling you rely on not to fall on you.
The opposite of coercion and maniplulation is trust: letting another agent do as they wish , without trying to control their behavior because you believe they’ll take your interests into account.
“When nothing is working, explore and make lots of small bets. After something starts working, double down on what works best. When that stops working, explore and make lots of small bets again.” In other words, fuck around and find out.
On Being Stuck
Forgiveness made simple (albeit still not easy): “The thing you did was hurtful to the person I was. That doesn’t make what you did right, but I have outgrown that person and I am no longer hurt by your actions.” Now, how do we proceed?
When stumped by life’s choices, choose “expansion” over happiness.
Ambitions pull you forward when it’s hard. Big ambitions, low expectations, and high standards are a powerful combination for living the best life you can.
The nature of evil is in distracting us from things that really matter.
If you’re stuck on a negotiation, figure out the one thing that is truly non-negotiable for you and then compromise on everything else.
Many good opportunities are ruined for the dream of slightly better ones.
On Mental Health:
People usually judge you based on where you are currently at, not what you could become eventually. Don’t let any one comment stop you from trying. File it away. Use it as fuel. Focus on getting better. Someone else’s analysis of your current position doesn’t tell you anything about your current potential.
Seek recovery instead of efficiency.
Mental health is important. But we aren’t taught to prioritize it, even when we know how important it is. So do what it takes to take care of your mental health, whatever it is to you. But regardless of what sustains you, the foundation of mental health is sleep. Being mentally healthy is mainly the pursuit of the individual, some people meditate, some take walks, some journal, none of those things are essential. You can have good sleep and not have good mental health, but we can’t sustain good mental health without good sleep.
Empathy without boundary is self destruction.
“People grow when they are loved well. If you want to help others heal, love them without agenda.” - Mike McHargue
Clarity of Thought
“Infinite variability is infinite opportunity.”
Study many sciences and absorb thier power as your own, If you swallow enough sciences the gaps between them will be diminished and your knowledge will become a unified whole.
Most information is irrelevant. Knowing what to ignore saves you time, reduces stress & improves decision making.
If you thought as those around you did, we would all have the same thoughts. If we merge our thoughts with new ideas, the ideas of others in books, create new thoughts. Communication of thought to an audience with the initial thoughts of theirs. Our duty is not to change thier minds but to refine it.
On Balance
One day at yoga class, my instructor said something that stuck with me:
“Try keeping your balance, but if you need support, that’s okay. You’re still balancing even if you’re being supported. What’s important is that you’re still breathing.”
One of the great balancing acts is to be cautious and daring at the same time. Caustious enoughto avoid stupid mistakes, prevent burnout and maintain a marigin of safety. Daring enough to bet on yourself, do things you would regret leaving undone, & to be willing to be uncomfortable in the short termso you can learn and grow in the long term.
In sports, undertraining causes under performance, and over training causes injury. The goal is to find the right balance of training. Everything in life is about balance, like work-life balance. But balance requires effort. When you are trying to be balance yourself physically, it requires effort to stay in that positon. If we’re not balancing, it means we’re rolling to one side or the other.
The person you will be in 5 years is based on the books you read and the people you surround yourself with today.
Nine Sources of Advantage (& how I place myself currently in each category):
Raw Talent/ Intelligence: Some people are just naturally better and smarter. 3/10
Hard Work: Some people work hard. 6/10
Differentriation: Seeing the world differently. Doing something different. Reading different books. Interpreting information differently. 9/10
Process/Discipline: Creating a process and following it. 8/10
Talent Collector: Finding the best in people and getting the most out of them. 8/10
Patience: Lack of patience changes outcome. 7/10
Ability to take pain: Are you willing to look like an idiot to get better? How much risk are you willing to take? Can you handle losses? 9/10
Temperament: Keeping your head when everyone else is losing theirs. 9/10
Problem Solving:
Matching the complexity of the problem to the method of solving can really pay off.
Establish a system for getting resources. Build the engine. Expand. Repeat.
Cunningham’s Law: The best way to get a detailed and correct action is not to ask a question, but to make a false statement about it.
Find the weakest link in the problem. Identify the bottleneck or limiting factor.
“To play a wrong note is insignificant. to play without passion is inexcusable.”
-Beethoven
Let’s say your goal was a million dollars. The chances of someone walking up to you and handing you a million dollars is pretty low, but it is also non-zero. You can subtly pivot to increase that non-zero chance. Moving to a city with lots of millionaires would increase your chances, probably not that much. Having friends that were millionaires might eventually make you into one. Doing things that millionaires do that are unrelated to money might also help. In any goal, your chances are non-zero.
A focused person is one to which distraction is not unavailable.
“The greatest thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving.” -Goethe
Saudade - A feeling of nostalgic longing for people, places or things that have been loved and lost. “The love that remains.”
You cannot “not know” Something about your own plan. Visualize an ideal situation that you can explain and verbalize completely. “Not knowing” means there’s is wishful thinking in your thought process, which is merely noise. And that lack of logic can destroy any plan.
On Success
“Only a healthy body can habor the madness that can change the world.”
“Surrender to yourself. So that you may defeat yourself. And surpass yourself.”
Expertise in meta- level thinking- things like change, learning and emotional management will pay dividends.
Champions are made not in the late hours of the night or early hours of the morning but in places of least distraction.
Now that you’ve abandoned your futile efforts to dictate the speed at which the experience moves, the real experience can begin. .
Your job throughout life is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself.
Bonus:
Haptic Architecture = Sensory Architecture
A space is more than appearence. Textures, smells, sounds can strongly affect user experience. Sensory architecture can transform the interaction between people and build environments into something deeper. Designing for haptics and experiences makes memory of space more solid.
We are the architects of our environemnts. And when we think about building our futures we tend to do so on a very superficial level. What Do I look like, how much money am I making. What’s my status.
But we are haptic architects. We mean something to others. We have depth. There are layers of us to which we haven’t begun exploring yet, that I haven’t begun exploring yet and in this coming year I am looking forward to the adventure that awaits.
-Jonathan, Now in His Twenty-Ninth Year